the anger within
by Azilia james
Summary: Kanan knew he shouldn't have bin using his light sabor when he was so so angry, angry at himself. He could have hurt himself, but worst of all, he knew he shouldn't have bin practicing with Ezra.


The anger within

Kanan knew he shouldn't have been practicing with his light sabor when he was so so angry. He could have hurt himself, but worst of all he knew he shouldn't have been practicing with Ezra.

Kanan was just a child at this point, maybe just a little older than Ezra, and there in front of him lied he master, almost completely lifeless, and around him the jedi falling. With her last dyeing breath, her last word to the young padawan was , "run". And then she laid completely still, completely lifeless. He knew he should not have run, but he was so scared. And so he did, he ran. He ran past the shots of the blasters and the bucket heads shooting them, but worst of all, he ran past the out stretched hands of the dyeing jedi. And he didn't stop running for many years. "Do your friends even know?" spat the inquisitor. "Do they even know how much of a coward their own leader is?" He continued "good thing they don't, they would of never be able to look at you again"

"NO!" Kanan shouted through heavy breaths until he realized he was in his room. It was just a nightmare, but all too real. He had never been so angry. So angry with himself, So angry for running. He knew the crew would never look at him the same, would never respect him the same. How would Ezra feel learning from such a coward? "Kanan?" Ezra said, opening the door. "Are you okay? I thought I heard you yell". "I'm fine" he said a little too harshly before pushing past Ezra and walking to the main area of the ship where Sabine and Zed were already. "Morning" sang Sabin as they walked in. "Hi" he mumbled under his breath. "Wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the ship." She said trying to be funny, but instead of a laugh, she was met with a death stare. "Kanan are you sure you're alright there mate?" "I'M FINE" he yelled a little too loudly. He cleared his throat, "Ezra training outside 10 minutes don't be late." He said. "Uh, kanan are you sure you don't want to skip training today? It's just that"10 minutes." He said walking out of the room.

"Whoa" said Zeb "wouldn't want to be sabor fighting with that!" Zeb said with a laugh. "I'll be working on the paint job for the ghost" said Sabine, "so I'll be watching you guys train, Kanan seems.. off today. "Can I come?" asked Zeb. Zeb kept making jokes, but really, he was worried. Kanan was acting really weird, almost angry. And he really didn't want him to be using his light sabor, especially with Ezra. So he just kept joking. "Come on" said Sabine, "Kanan's probably already waiting." "Don't want to miss this!" said Zeb. "I do" said Ezra.

"You're late" Kanan said as they walked out of the ship. He tossed Ezra his light sabor, well more like threw at him angrily. Ezra fumbled a bit with it before dropping it to the dusty ground. "Sorry Kanan" Ezra said as he dusted off his sabor. "Whoa, Kanan" Sabine started, "are you sure you're…."

"I'm. Fine." He interrupted, as he pressed on his light sabor. The pale blue illuminating him face. "Let's do this".

Zeb and Sabine were leaning agents the ghost watching the, 'training', if you could even call it that. Kanan was acting like Ezra was the inquisitor or something. Kanan threw his light sabor at Ezra putting so much strength behind it, it flew out of his hand and into the tall grass. "Kanan, might want to go a little easier next time?" said Zeb. "He's right" said an all too familiar voice. It was the inquisitor. He looked around, but he wasn't there. He was purely inside his head. Not really, Kanan was just hearing things, but everything the being from his imagination said was too scary, too real. "Very nice" Kanan heard. He knew it wasn't real, he wasn't really hearing it, but still, he listened. "Taking out your anger on the boy? What a good master. Enjoy it while you can, for soon he will be subjected to the dark side". "NO" Kanan said slashing his sabor through the air, Ezra ducked, the searing heat of the blade just missing the top of his head by an inch. Who was he talking to? "Kanan!" Sabine yelled. Ezra was still standing so close to him, he would not leave his master in his time of need. Something was obviously wrong. "Kanan" said Zeb "are you okay? Just put the light sabor down." "You can't blame him for eventually coming the dark side" the inquisitor continued "look at his master, he's already half way there."

"No" Kanan mumbled again.

"You're right, he will most likely not join our side," the inquisitor continued, "it appears I will just need to kill him."

"NO!" kanan shouted, aggressively slicing his light sabor through the air once more, only this time, it wasn't the air. "EZRA!" shouted Sabine, "Kid!" Zeb yelled. Kanan turned to see the long slash across Ezra's stomach, and blood pouring out. He began to fall to the ground. "Get Hera!" she yelled at Zeb, "there's a lot of blood!" "Ezra?" Kanan said in disbelief. "Get away from him!" Sabine yelled giving him a slight push. He quickly recovered and crawled up to Ezra's head. "Ezra, I-I'm sorry! Do you forgive me? I need to know you forgive me!" those where the last things Ezra heard before darkness took over and he blacked out. "No, no ,no Ezra!" Sabine said, "you need to stay awake!" but it was no use. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" Hera demanded as she ran out of the ship, chopper close behind. "I-I" those were the only things Kanan could stamper out. He just sat there staring at Ezra's blood on his hands. He feared for his safety and resulted in him hurting him. He could hear the inquisitor laughing at the irony. "Light sabor accident" Sabine yelled. "Is that really important right now?!" she said. "Right" said Hera. "Zeb! Help he get him to the Med-Bay we need to see how much blood he lost and check for eternal bleeding" she barked as they disappeared in to the ship. Sabine kept looking at Kanan staring at his hands. She ran into the ship, and seconds later appeared with a wet rag. She sat down beside him and began wiping away the blood, wiping away the guilt. When she was done he suddenly stood up his face unreadable and began walking. "Where are you going?" she called form behind, following him. He said not a word the whole time. When they finally arrived at a lake, his face still with a blank expression he walked up to it and in one sway motion, he threw his light sabor into the water and watched it sink. Sabine was stunned. Then he turned around and walked away. His face still a blank page.

Kanan sat at the table with a million thoughts going through his mind. "Kanan?" Sabine said in a soft voice, shaking him from his thoughts. "Ezra's going to be fine. Hera's patching him up now. He did lose a good amount of blood, so he'll have to stay in the Med-Bay for the week, and might be pretty sore, but all and all, he's lucky." Kanans face still stayed blank, but inside he was so relived, and then scared again. How would Ezra look at him again? Somehow the Inquisitor had his worst fear come true without even being there.

The week went by, while the others came and went form the Med-Bay visiting Ezra, Kanan did not see him once. He just sat in his room with his thoughts. Before they knew it Ezra was back on his feet within the week. Kanan was still scared to face him, to face everyone. To face the fact….

His thoughts where interrupted by a knock at his door. He didn't want to see anyone, but for some reason, he answered it. And there in his door way stood a soaking wet Ezra holding his light sabor. He handed it to Kanan

"I forgive you" he said.

First fanfiction! Hope you liked it! And please comment.


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